You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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