So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
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