I wish I could punch you in the face.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
