You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Randomize
