i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
