It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
