Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
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