its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
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