While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize