after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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