My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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