Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
