p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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