I can't watch pbs sober anymore
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
