I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
