can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
