idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Randomize
