I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I have grass duct taped all over my body
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
