Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
