Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
