if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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