Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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