For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
