We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Randomize
