your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I've blown a few things in my day
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
