I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize