I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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