Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
