Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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