So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
