ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
