pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
