I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
