It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
