Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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