The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
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