He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
