Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Randomize
