Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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