Where is the hickey?
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
