He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
His nipple licking is glorious
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