So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
