i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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