White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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