U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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