Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
