either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Randomize
