i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize
