Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
