remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
