the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
