Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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