I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
My balls are so social today.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
