Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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