If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
you had me at cake vodka
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
