I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
i out mim tonsoeep
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