Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
