I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
i think my mom watched the whole time
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I have aggressive nipples.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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