even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize