ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
