i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Randomize
