Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
