he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
